It’s the most important day of her life; the day she’s dreamed of since she was a little girl; the day her life as a woman officially commences; her big day…
It’s her wedding day.
What was once a paramount, sacred tradition that enabled a couple united by love to become joined together for life has now become little more than a grand exhibition of wealth.
In today’s society, this oh-so-special day has actually morphed into a sort of contest, and even can be considered a spectacle in a way.
Every bride-to-be believes that her wedding will outshine everyone else’s, and the obsession with how perfect things will be for others has surpassed the importance of the personal significance of this (hopefully) once in a lifetime milestone.
What was meant to be one of the happiest days of a hopelessly romantic couple’s life has become a practice in personal advertising to communicate the message: “Here we are, happily in love, and here is the carefully crafted wedding to prove it!”
Many couples believe that the more money they spend on this one-day event, the likely it will be a success and leave guests feeling satisfied. Weddings have become events for impressing others, instead of a celebration of the couple’s love.
The wedding industry has greatly expanded over the years, becoming a multi-million dollar industry that most brides and grooms buy into.
Of course, everyone deserves a beautiful wedding, but isn’t financial security and a debt-free future with your new partner better than spending all of your money on a wedding just to impress others?
The amount of money that is spent on excessive weddings can be used to supply the down payments for a home. Purchasing a home is an important step to building a future together and is not on a one-day event that everyone forgets about after anyway.
Details including the bride’s dress, the invitations, the venue, the menu, the cake, seating arrangements, and even those photos meticulously placed around the venue have all been cautiously directed, hand-crafted and planned. Not only is everything perfectly planned, it’s practically staged.
The entrance of the bridal party and groomsmen, the entrance and introduction of the bride and groom, the first dance, the eventual serving of the food, the toasts, the father/daughter dance, the cake cutting, the bouquet and garter toss, etc., etc.
These repetitive and generic wedding traditions make the receptions into really long, orchestrated and scheduled events, where you always find yourself as a guest wondering when the polite time to leave is.
The sad part is that when you really think of it, weddings do not reflect the reality of what they are supposed to mark, which is the beginning of a marriage and the joining and commencement of two people’s lives together surrounded by their closest friends and families.
It’s usually the opposite. People attending weddings these days have a sort of expectation, sort of like when people go to Las Vegas and just expect to come back with large winnings.
Most of the time these people aren’t even that close to the bride and groom, and are the ones criticizing every detail that was so carefully planned.
They might say the wedding dress is ugly, or the food sucks, or even complain about the décor. Most of the haters at weddings were only invited out of obligation to parents and other relatives.
These guests do not even truly matter to the bride and groom, but unhappy guests want everyone to know how much they are not enjoying the wedding.
The real purpose of a wedding reception should be to let the bride and groom celebrate their love and happiness with their guests (who should be actual family members and close relatives and real friends), as they have a bite to eat and get congratulated.
If the regimentation and control of every little detail of the event were lost, people (including the bride and groom) could actually enjoy themselves. I feel that weddings consist of a lot of waiting for the most part.
Waiting for the bride and groom to enter, waiting for the food to be served, waiting for the dance floor to open up…
The media has played a large part in creating the pressure to have large, impressive weddings. Reality shows such as TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress,” and the ultra-shallow “Four Weddings,” which features four brides who attend each other’s weddings and literally rip apart each one, encourage brides-to-be to plan the most expensive and extravagant events imaginable.
If you need an example of how scary wedding culture has actually become, look no further than this scene that played out during “Four Weddings” where a contestant once rated another bride’s wedding a four out of 10 because she “got food stuck in between her teeth.”
Add the reality TV created “Bridezilla” mentality to the already stressful process of wedding planning, and brides feel that it is their duty to become complete B****** to ensure that everything goes their way and their weddings impress highly critical guests.
Brides literally obsess over precision planning, even though in the end, every single wedding is pretty much the same. Brides pick practically the same dresses, color schemes and floral arrangements, and most even choose nearly identical playlists.
Instead of brides glowing with happiness, they are actually most likely exhausted from getting no sleep the night before and having to wake up at 6 a.m. for to make sure their heir hair and makeup look perfect.
So in all this pre-meditated glitz and glamour that is used just to impress, the actual act of marriage and its meaning get lost in the craziness.
I’m not saying that all brides should get married in their backyards and serve hotdogs as a sign of their love, but I am saying that brides and grooms alike should not forget the reason behind the event that they are celebrating.
So please brides-to-be and friends of brides-to-be, reconsider your reasoning for planning over-the-top weddings and stop to think about what’s truly important.
You can access the actual article here
Friday, December 27, 2013
Aunt Agony 271213
Published :
12:03 AM
Author :
CloUdiSm (Unorthodox)
Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
Recently I changed job...to a new place...
At my working place, I am suppose to work closely with girl A. So the new company sent us both to Germany for a job assignment for a month. After work, she would ask me out to accompany her for dinner, shopping, theatres, walk around, coffee. Weekends, we would both plan trips to Venice, Paris and Switzerland like a couple. At that time, I began to fall for her. I develop feelings for her because I rarely have the chance to be one to one with a girl...as pretty as she is.
However, moment we landed spore, her whole attitude changed. I ask her out for a drink, she declined. And then she began to distance herself from me. We both had a small quarrel over work. THen I began to distance myself from Girl A. Girl A even told my other colleagues about me trying to court her. Some of the co workers began to kepo and ask me about my ties to her.
Then came girl B. As a result of my struggle with my new job and my new boss's disatisfaction with my performance, i had to worked hard till late night to earn my boss's favor. During that time, girl B also worked late at office. So she began to text and use the company messenger to talk to me. We both at times conversate until 11pm at office. Girl B is sort of sweet and nice girl. She's a Ipoh so her personality is a bit different from those typical princess singaporean girls like girl A. I didn't want to ask girl B out because of the trouble caused by girl A, I didn;t want to sully my reputation anymore. But I did double check girl B's status, ask one colleague in her team whether she is single or not, the reply was that she's single.
Then after some weeks, girl B got some buquet of flowers from the florists. I became disappointed because I thought it was from her boyfriend.
Then it came to the end of my confirmation, my cruel boss decided not to confirm me. My boss wanted to do all sorts of things, like accuse me of things I didn't do to kick me out from office. So in order not to have a bad record to tarnish my reputation, I made a deal with my boss and the company HR...that they would not sully my records if I offer to resign peacefully. This is to ensure when new employers do reference check, there would not be any so-called performance improvemnet program or non-confirmation sacking letters in my HR record (i refuse to sign them anyway)....
In exchange for the deal...I help them to clear my work. So during that time..i worked late to help girl A to finish up the work. girl A was very stressful, from there, she saw my honesty and hard work. So she apologised to me for her rude behaviour and gave me a dinner treat at an expensive restaurant. We both parted ways in good manner. I never pursue A, because I knew we both are not compatible.
Then on the day of my resignation (i kept low key, never tell anybody at office), somehow rumor spread..girl B, message me to tell me how shocked she was to hear that i was resigning. She say that she will miss me. I told her that we could still keep in touch.
Fast forward...2 months later, at my new office. I suddenly got a text from girl B, asking me where am I working and how am I. Me not wanting to give infor for free...ask her if she could organise a gathering within our ex-colleagues..then I can tell her. I wanted to have an opportunity or excuse to meet her in a group so as not to make her think i am a despo. She said she could not do so because everyone else was busy and was taking leave.
So I wanted for another week, i was taking things slowly...not wanting to put too much pressure on her. I ask her if she was free or not. She said she is not free until next year 2014. But she told me, I can ask her out...near her place...because she doesn;t like to travel far, as long as we can have lunch, or dinner or tea time during the weekends. During the week days, she work late, as usual. So she doesn;t have time to come out.
I ask her about thsoe flowers she receive last time at office. She told me that it was from her girl friends who gave her those flowers for her birthday.
Then we both made some jokes...she joke and ask me why I so secretive never tell where I work..then i said...you come out with me for dinner then i tell you. Her answer is "haha...ok".
So now, my question is...should I ask her out? How should I approach this? Take it slowly? Its just that i am a bit concern of our big age gap..you see, i am 36, she's 27. You think it will work?
I am actually curious on what is it about the age gap that is stopping you from advancing. Specifically, I am wondering how much of the experience you had with Girl A actually negatively affected the way you are going to proceed with Girl B.
Presently, both of you are employed in different companies. Hence, office politics from your previous workplace shouldn't technically harm either one of you professionally; after all, even if you are indeed dating Girl B - it's truly your own private life.
You might want to gain some degree of self acceptance to the above thought processing first as I sensed some form of inner resistance from you as somehow, you kept referencing 'unimportant' people in your life (my hypothesis) to make significant decision (namely your love affairs).
So how should you proceed? Well, since you don't really know her as a person beyond mundane description of nice and sweet - you can start getting to know her better? And you can help yourself by being genuine in wanting to know her and be less bothered by immaterial details such as age for now. If age is an issue, the process of knowing her will reveal to you mystically.
Cheers
Recently I changed job...to a new place...
At my working place, I am suppose to work closely with girl A. So the new company sent us both to Germany for a job assignment for a month. After work, she would ask me out to accompany her for dinner, shopping, theatres, walk around, coffee. Weekends, we would both plan trips to Venice, Paris and Switzerland like a couple. At that time, I began to fall for her. I develop feelings for her because I rarely have the chance to be one to one with a girl...as pretty as she is.
However, moment we landed spore, her whole attitude changed. I ask her out for a drink, she declined. And then she began to distance herself from me. We both had a small quarrel over work. THen I began to distance myself from Girl A. Girl A even told my other colleagues about me trying to court her. Some of the co workers began to kepo and ask me about my ties to her.
Then came girl B. As a result of my struggle with my new job and my new boss's disatisfaction with my performance, i had to worked hard till late night to earn my boss's favor. During that time, girl B also worked late at office. So she began to text and use the company messenger to talk to me. We both at times conversate until 11pm at office. Girl B is sort of sweet and nice girl. She's a Ipoh so her personality is a bit different from those typical princess singaporean girls like girl A. I didn't want to ask girl B out because of the trouble caused by girl A, I didn;t want to sully my reputation anymore. But I did double check girl B's status, ask one colleague in her team whether she is single or not, the reply was that she's single.
Then after some weeks, girl B got some buquet of flowers from the florists. I became disappointed because I thought it was from her boyfriend.
Then it came to the end of my confirmation, my cruel boss decided not to confirm me. My boss wanted to do all sorts of things, like accuse me of things I didn't do to kick me out from office. So in order not to have a bad record to tarnish my reputation, I made a deal with my boss and the company HR...that they would not sully my records if I offer to resign peacefully. This is to ensure when new employers do reference check, there would not be any so-called performance improvemnet program or non-confirmation sacking letters in my HR record (i refuse to sign them anyway)....
In exchange for the deal...I help them to clear my work. So during that time..i worked late to help girl A to finish up the work. girl A was very stressful, from there, she saw my honesty and hard work. So she apologised to me for her rude behaviour and gave me a dinner treat at an expensive restaurant. We both parted ways in good manner. I never pursue A, because I knew we both are not compatible.
Then on the day of my resignation (i kept low key, never tell anybody at office), somehow rumor spread..girl B, message me to tell me how shocked she was to hear that i was resigning. She say that she will miss me. I told her that we could still keep in touch.
Fast forward...2 months later, at my new office. I suddenly got a text from girl B, asking me where am I working and how am I. Me not wanting to give infor for free...ask her if she could organise a gathering within our ex-colleagues..then I can tell her. I wanted to have an opportunity or excuse to meet her in a group so as not to make her think i am a despo. She said she could not do so because everyone else was busy and was taking leave.
So I wanted for another week, i was taking things slowly...not wanting to put too much pressure on her. I ask her if she was free or not. She said she is not free until next year 2014. But she told me, I can ask her out...near her place...because she doesn;t like to travel far, as long as we can have lunch, or dinner or tea time during the weekends. During the week days, she work late, as usual. So she doesn;t have time to come out.
I ask her about thsoe flowers she receive last time at office. She told me that it was from her girl friends who gave her those flowers for her birthday.
Then we both made some jokes...she joke and ask me why I so secretive never tell where I work..then i said...you come out with me for dinner then i tell you. Her answer is "haha...ok".
So now, my question is...should I ask her out? How should I approach this? Take it slowly? Its just that i am a bit concern of our big age gap..you see, i am 36, she's 27. You think it will work?
I am actually curious on what is it about the age gap that is stopping you from advancing. Specifically, I am wondering how much of the experience you had with Girl A actually negatively affected the way you are going to proceed with Girl B.
Presently, both of you are employed in different companies. Hence, office politics from your previous workplace shouldn't technically harm either one of you professionally; after all, even if you are indeed dating Girl B - it's truly your own private life.
You might want to gain some degree of self acceptance to the above thought processing first as I sensed some form of inner resistance from you as somehow, you kept referencing 'unimportant' people in your life (my hypothesis) to make significant decision (namely your love affairs).
So how should you proceed? Well, since you don't really know her as a person beyond mundane description of nice and sweet - you can start getting to know her better? And you can help yourself by being genuine in wanting to know her and be less bothered by immaterial details such as age for now. If age is an issue, the process of knowing her will reveal to you mystically.
Cheers
Long Break!
Published :
12:01 AM
Author :
CloUdiSm (Unorthodox)
Sorry folks; just concluded this half year project for SEA Games ceremony 2013 @ Myanmar. Hence, updates has been dead for more than a month.
Whee! Back in production again! :D
Whee! Back in production again! :D
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- CloUdiSm (Unorthodox)
- A vampire is a human being who has died and been resurrected by certain supernatural means and endowed with certain super natural abilities and limitations. When you have died emotionally and returned alive, what doesn't kills you makes you stronger and in fact, you are a vampire. - yunhaier
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