Interestingly I have been called an idealist when I thought it was basically fundamental. Perhaps, my definition of what's fundamental might be classified as idealistic, but I would still stick to my guns on this.
The folkways effect on being single in modern Singapore is quite apparent. There seemed to be somewhat a pressure on getting people hitched, especially if you are on the road to be of a 'marriageable age'. Somewhat socially, we are conformed to believe that we must be attached in order to achieve some sort of stability, so as to ensure certain level of self worth and certainty that we are loved and wanted. This is especially pronounced in that of a woman than a man, but it affects both ways equally.
Ironically, the concept of 'single' equates to 'being alone' or 'unwanted', instead of enjoying life while actively looking out for someone who could complement you. What happens in reality is that people choose existing pool of potentials from their social circle and often decide upon mates that don't exactly fit very well. These are what I call the 2nd/3rd order partners, which serve as a function to negate the perspective of being 'unwanted' to 'wanted' - but deep within their subconscious, they don't exactly love their chosen partner/s in a deeper sense, other than the need to appease this insecurity.
It wouldn't surprise me that a significant number of woman end up marrying for security and not for love. It doesn't matter whether they are dissatisfied or unhappy, because at the end of the day, they are still 'wanted' and being alone or seen to be alone is a devil greater than being in a unhappy/dissatisfied relationship.
Which is why one out of every three marriage will end up in divorce. It is not because the love wasn't strong - it is because the fundamentals is already wrong in the first place.
P.S: The teleology in love can be so profound insofar that they cannot be understood merely by the context of the love in which they express through the interaction of the relationship. Sometimes, we need to deal with our own fear of loneliness, so that we are able to lead the relationship in a less suppressive manner.
