Aunt Agony 210210

Originally posted by boi_cant tahan:

I had a close friend, two of them and one of them is a girl. Ok its like this, we treated ourselves like siblings. The moment we argue we apologize soon after or IF there's any argument, its will be a friendly type. This is how close we are.

As years goes by, i going to NS soon and she is going to study at NAFA. It hurts rather sad when we apart because we spent so much time together. Best friends forever curse. Me her and together with all our friends were like one patch. She and my other close friend are the only ones that really help me thru the trouble of relastionship of what i posted in the forum quite a few times long ago. Now i finally got a gf, thanks to my friends. And soon after, my close friends also had a steady. Ok now this is where my pain starts.

Dont know why but i recently get this sigh of emo feeling whenever i saw her and her bf together. Its like i'm thinking i should be that guy. I seriously dont get it, i got a gf but i dont feel right. My happiness feeling down whenever i saw her and her bf together. But when we talk, its like the best moment. Then when i saw her bf feed her with fries, i felt sad. dont know why. And i did the same to my gf but it seems normal. Just out my laugh and smile but deep down i felt nothing when i do that to my gf.

Is it me, did i miss the moment with my close friends? I mean we are 19 years old now. We can't possibly be BEST friends forever but i dont want that to happen but as if i had a choice. We been friends for more than 5 years how can i got this stupid feeling about her? pls help. Anyone of you got this type of situation before? and what the hell is this feeling?




Grass is always greener on the other side.

Sometimes it does happen; especially when we assumed that life will remain status quo forever and we adopt an inactive approach towards the flow of life. Best friends may one day become causal friends and causal friends might one day developed into best friends; such impermanence nature of relationship is largely decided by the nurturing of the friendship towards the direction both seek to work towards.

You probably had a thing for her, just that passiveness took away point of action. Perhaps in the past, the feelings manifested itself as 'best friends' - but your conscious mind choose to stop right there without risking to probe further than just the choice of maintaining a great friendship.

It was a choice made. But it did not lapse into an issue because your circumstances were different - she was single and you could still enjoy a sizable amount of attention and concerns from her.

But now the situation kinda evolved. Surely, both of you are still good friends, but your position as a best friend is divided. Perhaps it's a hierarchy lower. But even so, in a social context, it is only natural and pretty much 'justified'. Your frustration stemmed from the fact that you are unable to resolve this internalization in view of such 'naturally justified social position' and your emotions just react helplessly.

You were undergoing some relationship problems before you found your current gf. And now that you had her, your subtle dissatisfaction and normalization of feelings towards your woman could signify that your love may be dubious. I am not questioning the love that you share with her, rather, I am concerned with regards to the circumstances that lead the formation of this relationship.

There is always a danger in loving someone and not realizing if there was the love you thought it was when you first acquired it.

Like what Genie has mentioned, learn to lead a relationship and not stick your head out and observe somebody else's. Such an attempt only seek to reveal the nature of your love towards your partner and upon correction, you might face an inevitable situation of losing them because you don't see a need to develop it.

Cheers