Aunt Agony 040110

Originally posted by J03r5

hie, my name is jason.

i share a similar story as would many people.

i have 2 best friends who are girls, both of them in the midst of ending their relationships.

but the agony that the breakup process puts them through is just something i cant stand for, yet i can only stand behind them and try to make them feel that there's a better tomorrow. not that it's working very well.

can someone offer me some insight as to how to make them see that there's a bigger picture to their lives or at least make them stand on their feet again?

As for myself, sometimes i come so close to overstepping the boundaries of being a best friend because i care for them so much more than i want to. don't take me wrong, it's not that i want to care less but i'm afraid that things would change if i made a false move.

many times, i've reconsidered my position whether or not my feelings exceed those that a friend should have. here's the thing, girl A is my buddy, in many ways like a brother. girl B is someone who sees me for who i am and takes me for who i am. both of whom i share my interests with.i hate to see change because frankly, i love having them both as my friends.

is what im feeling justifiable?




It's only natural for you to feel for your friends. Possibility of romantic feelings aside - people would naturally desire their good friends to lead fulfilling lives without misery. The Greek calls it Philia - but regardless, I think that is fundamental to any perception of how we define the role of a good friend.

Personal development of romantic feelings is not of a concern here - I am only concern about the pushing of personal agenda, especially with regards to the outcome of a breakup. As much as you think that you want to provide a 'bigger picture' for them to see, insofar to escape this seemingly 'hellhole' - we have to be cautious about what sort of 'bigger picture' we want to portray and if this is an assumption of our own personal 'bigger picture' or does it implied an unconscious hidden agenda?

We must be realistic and be constantly aware of our action because that will determine what sort of direction it will take when we execute them according to our thoughts. You are afraid to cross the boundary - this is the effect of leaving it entirely to our subconscious. Take note that it's nothing wrong to pursue the possibility of a romantic relationship with either one of these ladies, however the anxiety of your problem stemmed from the fact that you are not exactly clear in your agenda and the labeling of your friendship with them, which kinda created an unplanned situation of a 'conflict in double interest'.

In true platonic friendship, this wouldn't even have bothered you. Since it has, you might want to consider my two cents on a deeper level.

Cheers