Stability and Relationship (Part II)

And so yunhaier continues:

I remember a quote from Barbara DeAngelis that goes something like this: "Love is a choice you make from moment to moment" 

One would ought to understand that relationship is not something that is given, but rather something that spawn out of the natural consequence of love. And since that is not merely a symbolic representation of a choice; we in fact make our daily choices to decide how we want to deal with our relationship - from drudgery to the highly complex issues in love. Our personal attitude could decide the course of action, our response and reaction to it.

However, choices are only meaningful if all available options are laid out like fan of cards for one to choose. The problem with this perspective is that people do not learn certain attitude/behavior in love because they are not taught (and reinforced regularly) by both life and their early childhood environment, thus these 'options' just minors from the original deck of cards. For example, if one's parents are not particularly expressive/romantic lovers, it can be hard for someone to adopt this stance of loving expression unless the child's experience has contact of such nature of expression AND actively decides that he/she wants to incorporate this single card into their 'overall deck'. Perhaps the child learns 'duty', 'responsibility' and/or 'a being provider' well - shuffles fifteen cards that relates to stability with only one card of romance. Seriously, what are the odds of picking the romance card? And how long the wait when the card is finally picked, only to be consumed and get placed underneath the deck of cards? Another fifteen turns!

Romance and stability are both 'cards' that can be fused into the overall deck. The key is to balance these two components so that the relationship remains fulfilling, secured and meaningful for both parties. Therefore, if you have a lot of 'stable' cards: it's time to slot more cards of romance into your deck, so as to balance things up, vice versa. Romance does not always mean giving your partner the moon; sometimes it just about doing things together and having fun in the process. And stability does not always mean financial stability - sometimes, it also mean emotional stability.

Balance, like many things in life, is crucial to ensure longevity of love.