Go with the Flow

We don't win every battle in life. Sometimes it is just the way it is - not to delegate the responsibility to external locus of control by chance, but sometimes, you just don't have the macro advantage to get to where you want to go and micro advantages may not have enough firepower to push through.

Someone mention about taking a break - I think it makes greater sense to me right now. I really need a break from all this shit because I have never stopped trying to restore my original functioning level by sheer brute strength. And trying to move against the tide is way too ineffective.

Geri spoke about the flow. I know what she meant.

I have lost a large component of my own identity that perished with the ship that sunk, with the last burning memory of having to witness my co-sailor escaping the doomed ship by a speed boat to another ship.

My co-sailor had a contingency plan. I never - I had no alternative route. I died when the ship gets swallowed by the sea. I couldn't swim. Death was inevitable.

I need to find back this divine soul that was lost. I shall devote the entire 2011 to do just that.

Yunhaier - you will need to find yourself back.