Originally posted by doc4u:
Any difference?
I'd like to know what the girls in this forum thinks. I know i've posted this in another section but i want to know more opinions about this.
You see, my girlfriend keeps insisting that her going out with her guy friends (1:1) is just nothing. And its not a date. Guy friends that she meets online and meets personally for the first time on that "date". We've had several arguments about this because to me going out with a guy is the same as having a date with him. Like i wouldn't spend time and effort if i don't like this person.
Now, its quite different if you've been friends with this guy friend of yours for a long time. That i can take and understand that its just a friendly date. But to go out with a total stranger just to meet him and be friends to him is something im not comfortable with.It doesn't matter how one defines it because her inner condition will reflect the decision she make and justify it through emotional deduction.
'I did not cheat on you, so why are you accusing me of cheating?'
You are stuck in a quagmire because she did not do anything blatant to constitute a love crime, yet you are hoping to prevent such an occurrence from happening. Is almost like trying to prevent a developing crisis from the taking place without the onus to prove that a crisis is indeed growing from the development.
Online friends.
Sheesh.
As much as she is putting on the facade to be a 'causal' friend to them (since she already admitted that she is keeping her options open), chances are, the guys that dated her privately are also putting on that facade under the cover of a 'causal friend' to seek possible opportunity, especially if they are single (because why not?).
You wondered why would she date other guys, when she is already in a relationship. It is usually a combination of these two reasons:
I) Many times, people regularly question about their current choice of partner. Is he/she really the one? Hence, subconsciously, they seek to test this hypothesis by dating other people to understand about the 'product positioning' of their mate and judge if their choice is really suitable for them.
II) To revel in new romantic experience once again. Often, people seek to reinvent the romantic aspect of Love, for this sort of uncommitment is seductively attractive. There are always exchange/s of some sort and contrary to popular belief, it need not be sexual in nature. Some woman loves to recreate the experience of man showering their attention and affection at them (usually comes in a form of treats and gifts), yet deep inside their conscious state of mind, they never wanted to be with them.
Before you start to fret about your current situation, you got to be fully aware that a relationship is bounded by freewill. Thus, the unwilling will not remain in a relationship, despite your entire life effort to prevent the unwilling from leaving - it will remain futile. Similarly, if she wants to stay, nothing can make her go.
My take is simple - for those who believe in dating other people too, then allow that practice for both parties. Now your security is threatened because it seemed that your 'monogamy mindset' has created an inequality, in terms of the choice of mates, as compared to your gf - then seek to even up the playing field and evolve yourself to be more marketable in the 'social market'.
P.S: I am never bothered by competitions. And if my other half decide to jump ship, I would say go ahead and respect the decision without hesitation.
Seriously, why even bother to keep something that doesn't belong to you, if time gradually revealed this conclusion?
In the first place, Love was never a possession to begin with.
Cheers
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