More couples apply flat before marriage

More people are actually applying for flats before getting married. Not surprising though - you can read the article here

Just had a conversation with Cheryl and I was just sharing about the 'ideals' of proposing first before everything else - like applying for flat. I mean if a couple is applying for flat, like it or not: that is already somewhat a soft proposal. Cheryl kind of agreed and was quite shocked when I told her that this phenomenon is pretty much the norm these days (you got to excuse her startling revelation considering the fact that she has been living overseas for quite a while).  

Pragmatic concerns may be important, but then again, even from a pragmatic point of view - if your relationship were to be terminated before you get your flat, the harsh penalty of 5% of purchase price will set you back easily by 20k - 30k, as compared to a proposal ring alone (unless you decide to blow a greater insane amount on a ring).

Hack, if your relationship is not yet secure but your flat is - it actually carries more risk than having to propose first and to plan out everything else later. After all, proposing itself IS already a commitment that you are taking this relationship a little bit further. It is pretty much the same as getting a flat together.

Also, planning does not necessarily mean getting the flat immediately after the proposal - you can decide what the relationship needs so that both of you can be more emotionally prepared for marriage. Being emotionally ready IS an important prerequisite.

Some people argued about the lack of time period to wait - my take is that if you are planning to live with this person for the rest of your life, your decide if this small fraction of time spent is worth the while in view of say a 40 - 50 years lifeline.

A relationship is more likely to succeed, even without a well-planned registration of BTO flat if its foundation is robust, as compared to having key to your BTO flat, but with a cui (feeble) relationship.

Skeletons discovered holding hands in coffin together

You can read the actual article here

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Archaeologists excavating the inner courtyard of a former Dominican monastery may have discovered a Romanian Romeo and Juliet after unearthing the bodies of a young couple who were buried holding hands.
Experts from the Cluj-Napoca Institute of Archaeology and History of Art are working on what they believe is the former cemetery of the monastery have already uncovered several bodies

But discovering the couple holding hands was a surprise as double burials were extremely rare in that period.


Main researcher Adrian Rusu said: 'It is a mystery - and rare for such burials at that time.


We can see that the man had suffered a severe injury that left him with a broken hip from which he probably died. We believe the injury was caused after he was hit by something very blunt and hard.'

Because of the fact that the young woman obviously died at the same time and was presumably healthy we are speculating that she possibly died of a broken heart at the loss of her partner.

Mr Rusu explained that becuase suicide was regarded as a sin in the Medieval Ages it is unlikely she killed herself - and if she had they would not have been buried together like the were in a holy place.

'They were obviously buried together as a tribute to the love they had for each other,' he said.
He estimated that the two bodies were buried somewhere between 1450-1550.

The body of a child was also found in the grave in Cluj-Napoca although this may not have been linked to the pair.

The lower leg bones of a fourth skeleton were also found in the burial plot.

Cheers

Hardcore Prostitute vs Hardcore Clients

I find it amusing when I read about the busted online prostitute ring started by Tang Boon Thiew and the scores of men being hauled into court and charged for having sex with this underage girl. As she is considered a minor by law, her identity cannot be revealed. Which is why you have a bunch of guys going to court and being charged for 'something that cannot be revealed' (what an irony).

Then you have criminal lawyer Subhas Anandan retorting: “How is anybody going to know what he is charged for when you don’t know who the girl is, and what her age is? Who are they trying to protect? As far as I am concerned, this girl does not deserve protection as she is a HARDCORE PROSTITUTE who got so many men into trouble”

Temasek Review had a poll, asking if the identity of the girl be exposed. Interestingly, at this moment: about 83% said "Yes; she deserves to be shamed publicly to send a warning to others", while 17% felt that "she is still young and deserves to be protected."

If we look at this issue from a sociological perspective, the value of the woman who prostitutes herself will be, very much often, slammed with a worst rating than men who paid for sex. If we analysis the result of this informal poll, it does seem to reveal an insidious subtle suggestion that it is 'normal' for guys to sleep around (even if it is paid sex), but an ignominy for woman to do likewise - with a significant number of  women also endorsing this perspective interestingly.

How is it so?

Our society is still largely a patriarchal one, therefore the mores of society does seemed to gear towards one that fit into the above scheme of thoughts. There is an unequal power in society and that would generally determine the major value of society.

   
Think about this in a relationship context - if a man is caught sleeping with a female prostitute and a woman caught sleeping with a male prostitute, what do you think is different? :)

Some couples get married after short courtship

The effect of Uranus: speed marriage.

Would you?

Read it from Straits Times: You can read more here

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Ms Hoo Yinjia and Mr Bryan Chua got engaged five months after they met.

To widen her social circle, Ms Hoo had signed up for a dating event organised by the Social Development Network last March. There, she and Mr Chua were attracted to each other and went on their first date the next weekend. Within two weeks, they became an item and marriage was soon on the cards.

Ms Hoo, 26, a customer service executive, never dated casually - she was always focused on marriage. 'My previous relationships, when I was around 20, did not work out even after we dated for about one year because we were still young and the men did not have similar life goals such as marriage and family. Bryan, on the other hand, wanted to have a family. He gave me a sense of security in our future together.'

After they dated for five months, Mr Chua, 30, an assistant manager at a non-profit organisation, proposed to her last August

Younger men seeking foreign bride

I always find it uncomfortable whenever I view reports of man purchasing brides from countries like Vietnam and how they think it's absolutely a great idea to resolve their lack of marital prospect, in reference to their failed dating experience leading to limbo with local woman.

I recalled the time when my sociology lecturer shared with us about a story of his colleague who has 'purchased' a Vietnam bride. In addition, he was gleaming when this colleague of his added the fact that he has actually gotten a discount when he has 'purchased' his wife-to-be; it works somewhat like how I would imagine myself buying Sushi at Cold Storage after certain timing at night - everything is slapped with a 50% off label.

On top of that, he disallowed her to go out because he deemed that she might learn 'bad influence' and later run away (with another man).

Personally I find it hard to stomach the thought of even having to relate the thought of 'purchasing' foreign bride. Although the case above might be extreme, but I don't think it's uncommon - all sociologically trained student would instantly sees that as a form of exploitation. From an economic perspective, surely this is acceptable because the market is determined by supply and demand. But it would be too derogatory to even use this perspective because woman would naturally be reduced to that of a good and it is not something that one would like to see their wife-to-be as.

What I find it amusing is the reasoning this man has employed which give rise to his decision and I quote:

'He did it because his plan was to settle down and have a family by the age of 30. He was planning way ahead: he wanted children who could support him in his later years'

Another incredibly amusing thought:

'Mr Low, who had girlfriends before, said he wanted a relationship which was 'guaranteed' to end in marriage.'

'Marrying a local or marrying a foreign bride is the same, both might end in divorce... but so far, it's okay, I already have a one-year old daughter,' the 30-year old said matter-of-factly.

His concerned is not about his wife; only about the child he wanted to support him in his later years - there is a contradiction when he claims that he wanted a guaranteed marriage, yet end up having to admit that it's not guarantee somewhat too. Such narcissism in love, is often shielded under the category of brandishing traditional mindset, is way... way too obsolete to project this as an idea in our modern society. Of course our government would be more than happy to support, getting more Singaporean to marry and give birth - having more cash cows to milk from and to address our plunging birth rate.

And here comes the dual king of all statements in the article:

'A successful match can set a man back by $8,000 or $10,000. Mr Tan, who had some financial help from his mother, paid the agent $8,800 for his bride. It was a price he felt was worth forking out.'

'Mr A H, 35, a teacher, is one example of someone who was too busy with work to spend time dating. He has had relationships before and joined the Social Development Unit... but he said he was "too lazy" to participate in the activities. "Sometimes you're too mentally and physically tired due to work. It's much easier to get a wife this way, but to get a good person may depend on luck." '

I think pragmatism/consumerism in our society has reached to a point of utter disgust, in which I am beginning to abhor at how fucking lame thoughts are becoming. Firstly, how the hell do you come to a conclusion that $8,800 is a worthy price? Alright, I put on my pragmatic/consumer mindset and I derive this equation:

A)
Cost of Maid:
Levy: $265
Salary: $350
Total: $615

$8,800/$615 = 14.3 months

I would have broke even by the 14th month using $8,800 as a figure (to get a Vietnam bride housewife or a maid to manage the household).

B)
If I include sex in the equation

Cost of Sex:
$50/per session
E.g: 3 times a week (12 times a month) = $600

$8,800/($615+$600) = 7.2 months

So I would have broke even by the 7th month.

Seriously, this is all maximum bullshit. I can't believe when the teacher claim that he was too lazy to date and buying a bride was an easy way out - it's like saying that 'I want the sex part, but I don't want to waste time dating. So skip the dating and let's get married. Opps! Did I mentioned that the household is your arena too?'

Because I tell you, say if his bride refuse sex or cannot conceive - I bet with my balls that most of these man would likely to display the 'oh damn it! I paid for this and now there is no sex? No kids? Agent! I want a change of GOOD!!!!!!!!!'

*Flailing violent arms in the air and stamping feet*

It would be a cause for concern if these woman were abused. Better pray that I don't kanna one caseload like this, if not sure clash with my values.

A Nation of Spoilt Princesses?

Interesting on how Sulthan Niaz retorted AWARE's article by stating that women must contribute part of the blame on the low birth rate situation in Singapore.

Are Singaporean woman spoilt? Well, our males also demand for submissive woman too. So gender bashing will never come to an end because it's just matter of perspective.

Seriously anyway, I doubt gender has much to do with the situation here. The key concerns are 'expectations'. Why is our society bashing people for making their personal choices of not 'getting married' or not 'rearing children'?

Societal expectation or individual expectation? Which is prior?

This is a natural phenomenon in any developed country. Other places are facing the same situation too, hence this is nothing uniquely Singapore.

Hey man: you have a choice NOT to date spoilt princesses too. If yours happen to be one, then you got to admit that it's seriously your choice to keep them.

To read the full article, please go to:
http://news.asiaone.com/News/Education/Story/A1Story20100527-218798.html